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  坐下来想安安心心看书做题的，结果一打开gmail看到了新邮件。怀着忐忑的心情点开题目，内容和想象中的没有差太多，也依旧让原本就没有什么看书的心情一下子变得沉闷。打开千千，径直点开mariah carey的byebye，沉浸在歌词与曲调的反差之中。

……

this is for my peoples who just lost somebody
your best friend, your baby, your man or your lady
put your hand way up high
we will never say bye (no, no, no)

……

i never knew i could hurt like this
and everyday life goes on like

“i wish i could talk to you for awhile”
“miss you but i try not to cry”
as time goes by

and as soon as you reached a better place
still i’ll give the world to see your face
and we were here next to you
it feels like you're gone too soon
now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye

and you never got a chance to see how good i’ve done
and you never got to see me back at number one

i wish that you were here to celebrate together
i wish that we could spend the holidays together
i remember when you used to tuck me in at night
with the teddy bear you gave me that i held so tight

i thought you were so strong
you'd make it through whatever
it’s so hard to accept the fact you’re gone forever

……

  当意识到必须要接受一些难以接受的事实的时候我们都会下意识的去逃避，因为不够勇敢。有时实在是感觉清华的空气并不适合已经深深习惯国际部的我。很不喜欢 所谓的local people和intel' peple的称呼，只是一直都明白in this way,im not the part of here and never be. 没有想要埋怨，过了那么久，总是没有了当初的愤慨和寂寞，取而代之的则是淡淡的冷漠和无视。

   Prep test做了好久想要放弃，每次被时间赶，被恶心的LR，RC，LG所郁闷，然后还是要拿着铅笔继续在书上涂涂画画。170也好180也好，i don know, what i think of it.

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  然后做完prep,163.但是实际有些超时有些不专心，所以应该比这个低，在158左右。不想拿惯例是june比dec的难好几个档次来做理由，确实是 没有做好。大致来说今天唯一的进步就是按时做完了RC并且做的不错，but第一次LG做的那么仓促，没有自信，虽然最后全对，但不保证每次都是这种结果。 下周就是LSAT了，但现在到底能够考出什么样，一点底都没有。all in all，只能说剩下2周不管如何都天天做一套prep test，找感觉。